


it's not like i wanted to live forever

by asiren (meliorismo)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, F/F, Female EXO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 17:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19300213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meliorismo/pseuds/asiren
Summary: Sehun only thinks about herself when she is alone.





	it's not like i wanted to live forever

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is the 2.0 version of a Very Old work of mine, originally published in 2014, and in portuguese. at the time, i wasn't very adept to write stuff bigger than 2k... so i couldn't make it much longer than the original 500 words. also, i was REALLY into girl exo. no comments.

Junmyeon is a woman who looks more like a bored child; she gets cold easily and sleeps in any circumstance or situation. She also hates winters, and pepper. There was this time when she decided to eat some Thai leftover she found on the fridge and almost died. Sehun met her during a summer morning, when she was at the balcony and Junmyeon tripped over her own two feet and fell really hard; Sehun felt some pity grow in her heart and hurried down the stairs, worried that the woman would be gone when she finally got out of the house. 

And she wasn’t. 

Sehun thought her so cute, she barely accepted the fact that she was real. 

(she thought that she loved her, a while later, but it’s really hard to be sure of stuff like that.)

Sehun can’t explain why she decided to invite the stranger into her home, nor why Junmyeon accepted to begin with; she came out with some lame excuse about a cup of coffee or something like that. Not a single smart woman would’ve said yes, but Junmyeon did, because she was (and is) very crazy. Anyway, Sehun couldn’t tell you why she did what she did, but the fact remains that it was what she ended up doing, and Junmyeon said yes like it was normal. 

(Junmyeon is like  _ deja vu;  _ you don’t know how and you don’t know when, but it still keeps annoying you into trying to find out. It’s like a constant Well, who the fuck  _ are  _ you?)

Sehun’s mom — who was visiting at the time, and watched the whole thing from behind the curtain of the guest bedroom — thought her really lovely and delicate; something close to a good example for her wild daughter. Who knows, she said. Only God. Sehun, though, thought her weird, and intense, and hardly trustworthy; still, closer to the sun than the rest of Earth’s population. She shines with an intensity unknown to men and women alike. Sehun was scared that she would burn her eyes out, become blind out of this feeling — if it happened, then, what would she do?

Junmyeon keeps insisting that if someone ever made a candle out of Sehun (why is she this weird?) then it would  _ for sure  _ smell like moon. But how can someone smell like a big, gray rock in the sky? Junmyeon laughed, but only because she was part of those kind of women who laughs at everything. 

Sehun tells her that you fall in love with people without knowing what falling is. That it gets you in the night, or in the morning, when you open your eyes and think  _ Oh. Oh no.  _

It’s a surprise — how can you say that you knew what had arrived, even if it was expected, even if it was planned? Love happens to people, not the other way around. Aphrodite’s son goes around the clock looking after every mess. 

Sehun told her,  _ This is what happened to us. We weren’t none the wiser, and then the bus got us.  _ She would be,  _ well, are we dead now?  _ And Sehun would always say  _ If you have to ask then the answer is probably no.  _

Three days ago Junmyeon said to Sehun that the moon rises up to the sky always identical to everyone. No one has more claim to the clouds than their neighbor; there’s no negotiation, nor commerce, with Mother Nature. 

Sehun didn’t believe her, but it was because she never looked at the sky anyway. 

Anyway; Junmyeon’s last name is Kim, and Sehun’s Oh, and she can’t help but thinking that Junmyeon would be happier if they were both Kim and none of them were Oh. It doesn’t make any sense, but the truth rarely does. 

Sehun met Junmyeon in a Monday and fell in love with her during Wednesday; everything was crazy fast because Junmyeon is very now-or-never, and Sehun was always scared of letting life swim away — like sand between your fingers when you try to hold them under water, in a beach or a lake or a river. There’s no time to  _ think  _ with her, so Sehun just says  _ of course, love, my dear, it was exactly what I was thinking… _

(Sehun only thinks about herself when she is alone.)

Didn’t Junmyeon say that tears always end up being crystals, though?

(Sehun cries her an entire sea, but never asks her to leave.)

(She doesn’t ask, could never, even when her eyes fell out of her face, wet and exhausted and ready to give up.)


End file.
